the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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