The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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