I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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