we're blogging at a bar
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
