How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
