I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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