He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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