this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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