i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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