oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
