Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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