so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
