Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize