im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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