I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
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This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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