I want to walk on stilts...naked
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
