moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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