and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
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Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
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He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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