I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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