Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
