how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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