Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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