We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
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Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
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My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize