I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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