I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize