closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
