i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize