my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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