Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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