His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh god it's open bar.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
