Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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