I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize