girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off