Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude i'm inner monologue high
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid