how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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