well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
