Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
