She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize