I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
