these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
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Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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