im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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