dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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