you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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