Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."