Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.