I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I need moral support for this bender
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight