We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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