the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
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Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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