I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Holy shit dude........stairs
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
