I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Houston, we have a squirter
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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