i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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