he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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